The Reason..

this past few days i'm feeling happy...
thou i'm not feeling well for the past few days but still i'm happy...
when the reason for u to smile is nearby, for sure u happy kan...
i'm going back to my hometown in a few days time...
cant wait to sleep on my mama's lap while she gossiping n updating me about family's affair...
thou i kinda sad a little bit cos my reason to smile maybe a little far for me to reach..
two days after raya i'll be heading back to subang...
i'm kind sad to leave my mama n abah behind...
but my reason to smile will be nearby for a while...
so it will definitely help me to feel a little bit better...
but then my reason to smile also need to leave me behind...
but i guess the memories will remain and help me to continue smiling...

Missing my Family....

i'm kinda sad sikit today cos it's the first day of ramadhan & i cant "berbuka" wif my family..it's been 4 years already for me to experience my first day of ramadhan di perantauan, away from my family...sedihnyer. B'cos i dun wanna berbuka alone, so today i'll drive back to my aunt's house in Sg Long...dun care bout the distance, i just dun wanna berbuka alone...tomorrow i'll fly back to my hometown & definitely will berbuka wif my parent...sangat suka...

My treasure...

i'll be celebrating my parent's 28th anniversary this coming Saturday in Cameron Highlands... after 2 months since the last time i hugged my mama, i'll be seeing her n abah & also the new ummi n bapak to be (my bro&sis in law) & not to forget my youngest bro, adik...for now til next monday, i'm the happiest daughter n sis in the world...

i love my family so much...no words can describe it best how much i love them all...i treasure every moment i spend wif them...as i always say, they are my source of strength for me to stand and survive in this world...doesnt matter how far the distance that separate us all, we always be near wif each others in our hearts...

i am so glad n thankful to Allah for this...to have one happy family...to have mum n dad like my parent, lil bro like angah n adik n also our newest member in the family, adik iparku yg membawa sunshine ke dalam hidup angah,wanie...thanks dear...with the sweetest smile, we welcome u to our family...

i am a very simple girl with a very simple dream to have my own happy family like my parent...but sometimes to get or own something simple can be very complicated process/phase...for now, what i would do is pray to Allah that one day my dream will come true...n also like what i always say, i dont wanna rush anything...i just take a step at a time...hope not to fall or stumble again...but i know, if i do fall or stumble, i will always have my family kan... :)

to mama & abah, Happy 28th anniversary...

*b'cos of u, i'm here*

*i will always be ur little girl*

*i love u now, always & forever*

Mama’s big hug…

I still remember when one night I woke up crying after I dreamt that my abah has passed away. I was 10 years old at that time and my abah had been transfer to KL. I ran to my mama bedroom and when I told her of my dream, she cried together with me and gave me big hug.

I still remember when I cried on my mama’s lap as I told her my heart broken story. I was 16 years old at that time. First time I really like someone and he end up as my best friend’s boyfriend. My one and only best friend! I cried every day for a week and every time my mama will gave me big hug, to comfort me.

I still remember when I stood in front of my house; clueless…I just went back home for my weekend holiday. I was 22 years old at that time. When my mama opened the door, what she saw first was my tears rolling on my cheeks. She didn’t ask me anything; she took me into her arms and gave me the big hug she always provide me with. I cried and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I lost my first love, my love of 4 years. I gave him my 100% love and trust and he broke my heart. He broke my heart by not trusting me enough. And my mama as always, she gave me her big hug…

Now, I feel like crying but my mama’s big hug is far away…mama, I miss you. I want you here by my side now. I want u to know how lonely I am here without you. I still need your big hug. I need you…

I miss my mama’s big hug. If you have a mother like my mama, you know how I feel. Like best friend we can talk about everything (well…almost everything). We quarrel a lot too (mostly for my abah’s attention) but still miss each other if didn’t hear each other voice in 48 hours (check my phone bill).

But I’m a big girl, a grown up, a woman now…I must learn to walk by myself, to be independent. That’s what she always told me. Don’t depend on anyone else except yourself. If you fall or stumble, stand up and continue walking. Every experiences you collect along the way are valuable doesn’t matter good or bad.

Look mama, I’m walking. I did fell, once, twice or maybe trice, I lost count but I got up and continue my journey. I love you mama and I know you love me too but I love you more…