to have or not to have...

I've been thinking hard lately about something...
and been wondering also which one is a better choice...
to be the true love of someone life but...
he is someone else belonging or...
to have someone u love as urs but...
his heart belong to someone else..

for me both are still so painful to live ur life with...
but if i had to choose i rather choose emotionally belonging than physical...
when u know someone u love, love u back..
it's so heavenly tasty feeling u felt inside u...
but to live ur life with someone who rather love someone else besides u..
it's so torturing and meaningless...

but now sometimes i felt i am neither that nor that....
what i meant is sometimes i felt i am not with someone who wants someone else/belong to someone else..
confused? me also...
(other meaning~I am trying to be with someone who is belong to someone else who i don't think really in love or want to be with me. it's so hard and very painful. very demanding n torturing)

but i hope i will end up living my happy life with someone who adore me more than i love him ;)
who is rather to live his life alone than without me...
who love only me, myself n I...
who is never had any doubt about my love to him...
who is perfectly understand my swing and unpredictable mood...
but still i wonder...
where n how exactly i'm gonna find him?
in my dream maybe......