Welcome 2008...

Today is the last day in year 2007...The year where i started to see and realise my own strength...the year where half of it is very good whilst the other half is just so so...the year where i'm so glad to be myself no matter what..the year where i owned a few precious things and happy with my choices...

As i tried very hard to sleep last nite, i list down things that i think i need to do and accomplish in year 2008...and my final 3 are:-

(1) to lose min 5kg @ max 10kg of my current weight of 52kg now. how?

- eat balanced diet i.e no red meat, less rice n white bread & more fruits,vegi & plain water

- exercise regularly i.e more tennis, futsal, jogging,sit-up sessions.

- sleep well and be happy

(2) to read more books but not love story please...books related to my work meaning more of Kaplan & Norton's, Kellog's,blue ocean's, Potter's etc...why? so that i can easily finish all the tasks my boss gave me...meaning more time to relax kan...

(3) to stay focus at watever i do...no more hanky panky bussiness...why? so that i'll enjoy myself more at watever i do and enjoy the moment...

i hope this coming 2008 will bring more joy n happiness to me and people around me...i pray that all my family n friends wishes will come true...and i pray harder that my own wishes will come true ;)

my 2008 organizer...

i am tired...

i am tired of watching tv...
i am tired of laying on my sofa...
i am tired of surfing the internet...
i am tired of driving to work...
i am tired of sitting down..
i am tired of walking around...
i am tired of reading everything...
i am tired of everyone is leaving...
i am tired of being alone...
i am tired of feeling bored...
but most of all...
i am tired of hoping for YOU!

farewell poem to my dear friends who left and will leave me...

They came into your life with a big wide smile and a sincere hello…
They fill your everyday life with laughter and a story of their own…
They are the reason for you to come to work though they are not related to your work…
They are the first person you call once you arrived at the office and the last one when you leave…
You did not invite them into your life but still they came…
You did not want them to leave you but still they go…
It’s so hard to say goodbye to a very dear friends…
Friends who you know will always be there for you for better or worse…
Friends who will be happy with you and cry together…
Friends who look after you like sisters and brothers…
But nothing lasts forever…
That’s something I must admit…
For you my dearest friends…
I wish you the best of luck…
Whether near or far…
I am glad to be part of your life as you are in mine…
Sweet memories of us I’ll always remember and cherish…
Do keep in touch as I still want you to attend my wedding reception…
Though I don’t know when...
Miss you always I will….

khas buat temanku bunda...

bunda...
saat sah kau menjadi isteri, kau impikan dia...
sebagai bukti cinta utuh antara kau dan arjuna...
kau dapati dia namun dirimu sekadar persinggahan padanya...

bunda...
walau sedetik kehadirannya dalam dirimu...
namun kehilangannya bisa mengalirkan butir-butir jernih dari matamu...

bunda...
walau payah untuk kau harungi harimu dengan dia dekat denganmu...
namun lagi getir hari-hari yang kau lalui di saat dia di jauhkan dari jasadmu...

bunda...
kutahu ku tak bisa mengerti hiba dan sendumu...
kerana aku tidak memikul beban di bahumu...
namun ku mahu kau sentiasa tahu...
hadirku dalam hidupmu bukan sekadar teman di saat ketawa bertamu...
namun jua di saat sedih mencengkam di kalbu...

cekalkanlah hatimu bunda...
mungkin kehilangannya hanya sementara...
bakal diganti khabar yang lebih gembira...

bunda...
kutahu kau cuba sembunyikan duka...
alirkan mutiara dari matamu jika kau suka...
akan kusapu dengan jari jemariku yang setia...
dan kemudian kita sama-sama berdoa...
semoga Allah ubatkan luka...
dan tabahkan hatimu sentiasa...
Amin...

saya menulis puisi ini khas untuk teman saya...
be strong girl...very strong...i love you and always be there for you...

tentang dia...

Betapa bertuahnya seseorang itu apabila dia tahu apa yang diingini dan mempunyai cukup waktu untuk memiliki dan menikmati apa yang diingini berbanding seseorang yang tidak pasti apa yang hatinya hajati dan tidak cukup ruang waktu untuk mendapatinya.

Itulah apa yang boleh disimpulkan oleh saya setelah menonton sambil menitiskan airmata dvd ‘TENTANG DIA’. Menarik dan betul-betul membuai perasaan.

Filem ini membuatkan saya menangis di penghujung jalan ceritanya kerana ia mengajak saya bertanya pada diri sendiri apa sebenarnya yang saya cari dalam hidup saya ini dan adakah saya menggunakan sepenuhnya ruang masa yang saya ada untuk mengertikan keinginan saya.

Mungkin saya masih lagi ragu-ragu tentang keinginan hati kerana sendiri pun belum pasti apa yang dihajati.

Since I cannot predict future…
Since I am not sure with my own desire…
Since it’s still blurring in my mind about my own need…
There is nothing much for me to do…
Accept pray to ALLAH…

in between...

We already in the mid of December which mean that there are only a couple of weeks left between us and 2008…I’ve been counting what have I achieved so far in 2007…nothing much actually but I still really proud of myself…but that are all in the past & for me what really matter now is what I want to accomplish in 2008. As I am still blur with I want, I left it blank first for the time being but will try to list it down before 12:00 midnight, 31 Dec 2007.

2007 is very interesting year for me. I’ve done a lot of things that I never thought I will do before. I lost and gained new friends. I still maintaining friends that mean so much to me. Meeting and dating a few good guys but still searching for the ONE. It seems that I still have problem to maintain my relationship with the opposite sex so I will not stop trying :) My relationship with my boss and colleagues are superb. We are more like one big family than just plain officemates.

Me as myself, I just found out that I am mentally unstable, have problem with commitment and trust issue and still cannot forget HIM actually thou I act like I already put him behind. I am also still confused whether the ONE I am looking for is Mr. Right or Mr. Right now. So should I put this as my priority for next year resolution? Hmmm… I need to analyze first.

As what I usually do every year, I will still list down my New Year resolution even though I know I will never accomplish all of it. But still I will do what I feel like doing in my own sweet time. Because I love my life so much and I don’t want to waste it. I’ll enjoy every moment of it with everyone I love. So, write down what you feel like doing as your New Year resolution but don’t think too much about it, just enjoy every moment of your time in 2008. Cos you will never turn back time…

confused?

Sometimes even me myself didn’t recognize my own desire and need…
Sometimes I thought I know what I want until something happened and make me realized how I am so wrong about it…
Sometimes I thought I really love something so much and cannot live without it but when I did lose it, I feel nothing at all…
Sometimes I thought I couldn’t care less about something but when finally it was taken away from me, I was so miserable and lost…
Sometimes I just don’t want to know about it…
Sometimes I want to know all about it…
Sometimes I am just so tired to even think about it…
Sometimes I just want to lie quietly on my bed and tug my blanket and sleep soundly…
Sometimes I want to jump out of my bed and start running away from everything….
Sometimes I just want time to stop for a little while because it’s running so fast…
But…
Every time and all the time I never want to be anyone else but myself…

friends..

Friends…
Sometimes I do question myself how I end up being a friend to someone that’s so different from myself…what make I still holding on to our friendship? Sometimes I just don’t have the answer…so I just let it be… maybe sometimes we need someone who is so different from ourselves so we can balance our lives…I don’t know, I just guessing … but I like being friend with all kind of people…I don’t judge them with what they got in their wallet or wardrobe but what they got in their heart n mind…so far, I like what I found…

Buddy…
This is someone that I can share everything and anything with… and I’ll always stick to one at a time only…this is someone who's so close to me either physically or emotionally…I’ll treat her like a family cos she is a family to me…someone that I trust n never betray me…and I also do the same to her…maybe we share some interests but not all…maybe we spend most of our time together but not all the time…someone that I’ll feel comfortable with even when we sit by each other side without any word utter from our mouth…and I valued what I got now…

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.
~Douglas Pagels

My heart says….

It’s not that I don’t want to fall in love again…

But my heart says not just yet…

It’s not that I don’t want to forget u up till now….

But my heart says not just yet…

It’s not that I don’t want to trust men once more…

But my heart says not just yet…

It’s not that I don’t give chance to others anymore…

But my heart says not just yet…

What am I supposed to do when my heart says not just yet?

sarra~9:23pm,5/12/07

Infatuation....

Baby, I don’t want to spend my life on trial

For something that I did not do

Maybe if you stopped and looked around some time

I wouldn’t pass right by you

Maybe it’s because you are so insecure

Maybe you plain don’t care

Maybe it’s the chase that really gets me off

Don't force it when it’s just not there

Burn another bridge, break another heart

Try again, it will only fall apart

Infatuation

Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me

It’s such a shame that you shot me down

It would have been nice to be around

I’m touching your skin

If it’s only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?

I guess this must be infatuation (I want it…)

Try to put my finger on what burns me up

It always seems to escape me

When you have decided that you’ve had enough

Just tell me where I need to be

Now I'm facing something that I never had

To ever deal with before

She left me with the feeling that she’d had enough

And I’m the one wanting more

Burn another bridge, break another heart

Try again, it will only fall apart

Infatuation

Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me

It’s such a shame that you shot me down

It would have been nice to be around

I’m touching your skin

If it’s only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?

And I guess this must be infatuation (I want it…)

I’m so attracted to you

The feeling’s mutual too

I get scared the moment you leave

Get so hot I forget to breathe, yeh

Infatuation

Not seeing the rest of you is getting the best of me

It’s such a shame that you shot me down

Would have been nice to be around

I’m touching your skin

If it’s only a fantasy, then why is it killing me?

And I guess this must be infatuation

is it...

is it possible to love again?
when there's no more love to share...
is it possible to trust again?
when trust is no where to find...
is it possible to enjoy life again?
when misery is always by my side...
is it possible to give hope again?
when i'm tired of waiting...

Mein Haus...

As promised, pictures of my almost furnished apartment.

Venue: SuRia SuBaNG aPaRTMeNT

CoNCePT/THeMe: CLaSSY ZeN

My living room

Mirror...mirror on the wall...

My master Bedroom

coming home...

when u coming back home again...

u will definitely change every plan i'd make...

u will surely change all the feeling i kept inside me...
for a day i spend with you...
for an hour i accompany you...
for a minute i wait for you...
as this is the longest time we ever apart...
i'm not sure what to expect from the meeting...
so, until the time we finally set our eyes with each other again...
until the tentative become confirmed...
what i would do is just wait, patiently....

Meet my happy pet, heiter the tiger....

adopt your own virtual pet!

A Life for a Life...

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Mentally unstable...am I?

My friend once told me that i shud set a date with a psychiatrist cos she said i am mentally unstable..She told me this after i informed her bout the result of a test i took recently...

You are most afraid of not belonging

Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about whether others will love and care for you than many people around you are? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about being unneeded, unimportant, or even ostracized by those around you? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of not belonging. It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of not belonging may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by being more willing to compromise than others. However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.

shud i seek a lil help from a psychiatrist? do i need one?

company or no company...

i'm not feeling well today, physically....but kinda of happy... had a very good dinner last nite wif a good company...hope u can accompany me again for another dinner or lunch, maybe...

today i jes hang around lazily at my place, doing nothing but laying on my sofa with remote in my hand and keep on changing channel from cartoon to movie to MTV and back to cartoons again...so nothing much to update...

Independent...

i've been working here far away from my family more than 4 years...

i am so independent & i guess i can take care of my own self...

it's not that i dun need anyone else but i used to the idea of...

'All by myself '

'My own sweet time'

'My own space' etc...

all the decisions is in my own hand..

and i will feel suffocated if anyone try to interfere wif my life...

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

~Bob Moawad

Unwell?

All day

Staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night

Hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

I'm feeling like I'm headed for a

Breakdown I don't know why I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Me Talking to myself in public

Dodging glances on the train I know

I know they've all been talking 'bout me

I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong

With me

Out of all the hours thinking

Somehow I've lost my mind I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care B

ut soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep

Pretty soon they'll come to get me

Yeah, they're taking me away I'm not crazy,

I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Hey, how I used to be

How I used to be, yeah Well I'm just a little unwell

How I used to be

How I used to be

Give me a reason...

Just give me a reason to hate you...
cos i cant take it anymore...
this feeling of wanting you...
every night & day...

Just give me a reason to forget you...
cos it's killing me inside slowly...
just thinking about your smile...
every now & then...

Just give me a reason to run away from you...
cos i dont want to be standing here alone...
waiting for you to come home to me...
when i knew it will never be...

Just give me a reason to stop loving you...
cos it's hurt me so...
seeing you with others...
when i knew you will never see me...

Sarra~4 Nov 07,12.19pm~

Gotcha!

Why Are You Still Single?

My Result: Don't Want To Settle

You, more than others, have a fairy tale fantasy of how things should be. Ever since you were a kid, you've probably dreamed of the perfect wedding, coming home to a white picket fence, dog, and 2.2 kids (how does that work, anyway?). When someone asks what you're looking for, you don't skip a beat: You're likely to have a handy checklist that details your perfect partner. Hair and eye color, height, religion, education, career, interests, the list goes on.

While it's great to have standards — Hey, you shouldn't have to settle, after all — there's one slight glitch in your master plan: No one has made the grade in real life — at least not yet. Next time you're out with someone, keep yourself from mentally checking that list, and give love — and others — a chance. That special someone who you've written off may be perfect for you after all...

Take this test >

...

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.

~Robertson Davies

Everywhere...

Turn it inside out so I can see

The part of you that's drifting over me

And when I wake you're, you're never there

But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere

You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far

Just tell me why you're here and who you are

'Cause every time I look

You're never there

And every time I sleep

You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel

It's hard to think that You might not be real

I sense it now, the water's getting deep

I try to wash the pain away from me

Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

I'm not alone I am not alone

Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand

It's then I understand

The beauty that's within

It's now that we begin

You always light my way

I hope there never comes a day

No matter where I go I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

'Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I catch my breath It's you I breathe

You're everything I know

That makes me believe I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see

So tell me

Do you see me?

Procrastination...

what will u get when u procrastinate? all the works and things dat need to be done a day, a week or even a month earlier will haunt u back as ur worst nightmare....arghh.....

Just a glance...

sneak preview of my new apartment....not complete jes yet but i wanna share it wif my friends still anyway....enjoy....

At the corner of my living hall

my dining table
my dining corner

my incomplete living hall part 1

my incomplete living hall part 2

the "killing" scenery

Today...

when i look deep into my heart...
when i carefully listen to my heartbeat...
i thought i know what i really want...
i thought i know me the most...
so i dont really listen to what others said...
and what they keep telling me always...
until i realised that i am wrong...
and how stubborn I can be sometimes...
so today i promised to myself...
be as flexible as u can be...
try to adapt to your environment without affecting what ur belief...
and make an effort to trust people you love...
insyaallah they will not betray you...
Amin....

The man of my dreams...

Who's the Man of Your Dreams?

My Result: A Secret Agent

Mystery and intrigue — it's not just for action-adventure movies. It's what you are looking for in life and love. From spontaneous weekend getaways to notes stuck in your jean pockets, you love being surprised and appreciate the extra thought and effort that goes into making it happen.

That's why a secret agent could steal your heart — he's got what it takes to change the world, but he's not about to go around shouting about it. But don't worry, your secret's safe with us. Shhhh.

Take this test >

Color of my life...

Bright Red—Optimistic, dynamic, energizing, exciting, sexy, intense, stimulating, aggressive, powerful, energetic, dangerous

Burgundy—Vigor, elegance, richness, refinement, leadership, maturity, expensive

Blue—Truth, healing, tranquility, stability, peace, harmony, wisdom, trust, calm, confidence, protection, security, loyalty

Green—Nature, envy, healing, fertility, good luck, hope, stability, success, generosity

Brown—Stability, masculinity, reliability, comfort, endurance, simplicity, friendship

Light Pink—Love, romance, softness, delicacy, sweetness, friendship, tenderness, fidelity, compassion

Bright Yellow—Cheeriness, joy, action, optimism, happiness, idealism, summer, hope, imagination, sunshine, philosophy, youth

Fuchsia—Hot, sensual, exciting, bright, fun, energetic, feminine

Orange—Ambition, fun, happy, energetic, balance, flamboyant, warmth, enthusiasm, generosity, vibrant, expansive, organic

Light Blue—Peace, tranquility, quiet, cool, clean, soft, pure, understanding

Purple—Spirituality, royalty, mystery, wisdom, transformation, independence, enlightenment, respect, wealth

Navy—Dignity, credibility, strength, authority, conservative, trustworthiness, traditional, quiet, confident, serene

Beige—Earthy, classic, neutral, warm, soft, bland, melancholy

Greenish Yellow—Tart, fruity, acidy, jealousy

Lime—Tart, fruity, acidy, refreshing, lively, Revitalizing

Terra-cotta—Wholesome, earthy, country, welcoming, warmth, stability, fall, harvest

Lavender—Enchantment, nostalgia, delicacy, floral, sweet, fashion

Teal Blue—Emotional healing, pleasing, rich, protection, unique, expensive

Olive Green—Traditional color of peace, camouflage, classic, adventure

Neutral Gray—Neutral, corporate, classic, practical, cool, timeless, quiet, quality

Lagu untukmu

Tiada bintang

Dapat menerangkan hati yang telah dicelah

Bagaiku lumpuh tak mampu berdiri

Aku tetap begini

Takkan berubah kerna aku tetap aku

Dan lalu rindumu bukanlah aku

Guna hati, akal dan fikiranmu

Berbeza

Kau dan juga aku

Dua hati yang tak mungkin bersatu

Apakah aku

Hanya boneka yang sering engkau mainkan

Yang dikawal oleh jari-jarimu

Ku punya hati dan perasaan

Pernahkah engkau fikirkan

Cukup cukuplah oh cukuplah

Tak faham tak tahan

Sabarku tak tertahan

Melayan sikapmu perawan

Berbeza-berbeza

Kau dan aku berbeza

Kita memang tak serupa

Bebaskan bebaskan

Ku ingin dilepaskan

Kita tidak sehaluan

Cukuplah sudahlah

Sampai di sini saja

Hubungan kita berdua

Hoa…hoa….hoa…..

simple...

I've been thinking a lot lately...
not sure, uncertainty really scare me...
for once in my life i'm tired of playing games...
i had enuf of challenges and dares...
i just want a simple answer to a simple question...
but i dun have gut to ask...
so i just wanna let go...
forget everything...
every single moment and memories...
lose the number & e-mail...
hopefully to lose the face & smile also...
and this time no more tears...
just a simple smile...

I Hate Myself For Loving You

Midnight gettin' uptight Where are you

You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two

I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you

Hey Jack It's a fact they're talkin' in town

I turn my back and you're messin' around

I'm not really jealous don't like lookin' like a clown

I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you

Daylight spent the night without you

But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do

I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through

Hey man betcha you can treat me right

You just don’t know what you was missin’ last night

I wanna see you beggin, say forget it just for spite

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you,

that's why I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why

I hate myself for loving you

I think of you ev'ry night and day

You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that you do

I wanna walk but I run back to you

that's why I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you

Option...

Nowadays i notice that my mind seldom thinks about other things except You...
every minute & hour...
every nite & day...
every Sunday thru Saturday...
every sms & mms & msg...
every teh tarik & chicken tandoori...
but now i have another OPTION to think about beside You...
dont be jealous yea...
My new apartment....
this is my living hall before furnish. I'll update this picture after i hang the new curtain next week yar...i love the scenery...i can see Bandaraya Shah Alam from my window...
I'm so in love wif my new place...sangat sangat....so excited to decorate n furnish my new apartment...i make everybody around me excited too... my parent, my brothers and even my close friends...even when i think bout it pun can put a smile,(the sweetest one) on my face...
Hope to sleep in my own room on my own bed very soon...

No One...

I just want you close

Where you can stay forever

You can be sure

That it will only get better

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cuz

Everything's going to be alright

People keep talking they can say what they like

But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down

And my heart is hurting

You will always be around

This I know for certain

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cuz

Everything's going to be alright

People keep talking they can say what they like

But all i know is everything's going to be alright

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world

To find something like what we have

I know people will try try to divide something so real

So til the end of time I'm telling you there is no one No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

o one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel for you

home sweet home...

I already added "furnishing my new apartment" as one of the reason in my current make me happy list. Yesterday & today i almost complete the process of furnishing my living room(minus the sofa) - as i bought 2 very beautiful carpets as a replacement(temporary) for the sofa...my master bedroom done already as yesterday i bought the last pieces to complete it, something what i called gradmother's drawer :)

My kitchen still pending cos i'm still in a process of decision making about the kitchen cabinet. Done the sketching n design (TQ to Rewa of course) but there's still a few thing need to be attend to...my "walking wardrobe" plak...hmmm....hmmm..... and another hmmmmm......

I like my curtain thou...cant hardly wait to hang 'em..it will be ready insyaallah by next week... sgt suka dengan langsir saya...juga sgt suka dengan carpet saya...sgt suka dengan semuanya tentang rumah saya...kenapa? sebab ia kan rumah saya...kalau bukan saya yang suka, siapa lagi?

i cant wait to actually move in into my new apartment...in a few weeks time i will...and to all my fellow friends u are invited to drop by anytime...

I'm happy - part 2

I'm so happy...thou i'm a lil bit tired but still happy...and it's so good to feel happy..again....

thanks to You...You did keep ur promise...even the blackcurrant crispy chicken wings taste better wen i had it wif u...

I am looking forward to have another happy moment wif You... hope it will happen really soon... until then...i'll be good...

Clumsy..am I?

I'm back! am having a blast raya wif my family and it's so sad that the holiday already ended... missing 'em much but i still need to pay my bills...so keje..keje..keje....

Recently i fell in love wif Fergie's new song, clumsy...i really like the chorus...

"You got me tripping, stumbling, flipping, fumbling

Clumsy cause I'm falling in love

You got me slipping, tumbling, sinking, fumbling

Clumsy cause I'm falling in love

So in love with you"

i must admit i do act "clumsyly" whenever i'm front of someone i really really really deeply fall in love wif...i always end up saying something i'll regret it later or not really behaving myself or i do tumbling sometimes or too control "ayu" or worst..i forgot everything at all...this is something i cannot change but i do try to improve myself...

But i wanna see it in d positive side...at least i know when i had a crush on somebody..okay la tu...as long as i'm happy kan...

The Reason..

this past few days i'm feeling happy...
thou i'm not feeling well for the past few days but still i'm happy...
when the reason for u to smile is nearby, for sure u happy kan...
i'm going back to my hometown in a few days time...
cant wait to sleep on my mama's lap while she gossiping n updating me about family's affair...
thou i kinda sad a little bit cos my reason to smile maybe a little far for me to reach..
two days after raya i'll be heading back to subang...
i'm kind sad to leave my mama n abah behind...
but my reason to smile will be nearby for a while...
so it will definitely help me to feel a little bit better...
but then my reason to smile also need to leave me behind...
but i guess the memories will remain and help me to continue smiling...

Intelligent is sexy!

This morning i'd being ask by my big bos & my ex-boss what kinda guy i prefer or i like..they asked me to give them only ONE criteria jer...so my answer to their question is "INTELLIGENT"...b'cos for me, guy with brain is sexy..in their own way lah...I rarely fall for handsome guy(kengkadang jer)...

i like to have an intelligent talk wif my soulmate(if i manage to get one)...for me a good communication can tighten the bonding in one relationship...i valued every conversations i used to have n still do wif my dear father...he has the answers to all kind of questions i ask him...i expect the same thing from my future partner...

i like everytime when we having this kinda open discussion...me n my bosses (big&ex)...i dun really care eventhough sometimes they like to bully me...cos i know deep down inside they care for me(he..he..he..perasan kan)...


<----but it' a bonus point for me if i can get him in this package...

Blank

i have no idea ...

i dunno what to blog about...

cos i'm stil not really stable emotionally...

and if i do write...

i'm so sure it will turn out to be another sad poem...

i dun want to be label as weak....

cos i know that i'm strong...

but i do have a happy news to share...

last week i got my key...

key to my new apartment, so called home sweet home...

i bought myself a beautiful "dark chocolate" color dining table and queen bed...

does this make me happy?

i guess so....

i think i'm happy cos..

i got another things to think about besides u...

cos everytime i think about u n about all the possibilities...

i'll surely feeling down...

cos now...

i'm afraid...

i'm afraid of falling...

my sweet memory

my sweet memory...
as i left you behind...
i thought that i can easily forget you...
just like how the wind blow away dried leaves...
i thought that i will feel nothing...feel nothing at all...
just like how i feel when i drink a glass of plain water...
and i also thought that i will not be missing u...not even a little bit...
BUT...
i'm so 180 degree wrong...
as forget you is hard for me to do...
and i feel like slamming my stubborn head on the wall
till all the pictures of your smile i captured escape from my mind...
and i feel so deeply unhappy...
just like a little girl would feel when her big brother steal her lolipop from her pinky mouth...
and i miss you so much...
and i feel like crying 247 non stop...
til my room fill with my precious tears and i will be drown in it...
~sarra,23:11-sunday~